1. Flawlessly de-seed a bell pepper
2. Erect a Laserlite tent
3. Make a Tortilla de Patatas
4. Assemble a (DIY) photography backdrop rig
5. Speak some Japanese
6. Program AJAX
7. Fix a broken fingernail

1. Mr. Wok
2. Big Sharp Sabatier Knife!
3. Pizza Cutter
4. Black Pepper Grinder
5. Multi Size Cheese Grater
6. Giant Pasta Spork
7. Garlic Press

1. Headless Heroes - Eugene McDaniels : Irritating but sticky
2. Hanging Around - Cardigans : It's the intro
3. Cold Light of Day - Halo : Listen to find out why!
4. Someday - Nickelback : A real fist clencher
5. I Love Baby Cheesy - Banco de Gaia : How'ya feeling? It's fabulous, I've never experienced anything like this in my life. It's great...It's great...It's great..
6. Love Hangover - Diana Ross : Bubble bass extreme
7. Swamped - Lacuna Coil : Another fist clencher

1. if you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much fucking space.
2. English spoken here - American understood.
3. "Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." -Laurence J. Peter
4. If you're ever about to be mugged by a couple of clowns, don't hesitate — go for the juggler -Lee Entrekin
5. If you can read this, you're probably not dead yet.
6. Minds are like parachutes, they only function when OPEN.
7. It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.

The following list was kindly supplied by my dad :)

1. Mark Rothko
2. Wassily Kandinsky
3. Yves Tanguay
4. Jackson Pollock
5. Piet Mondrian
6. Henri Matisse
7. Joan Miró

Today is another submission list from Jules, thanks again.

1. Shop for any item except petrol
2. No need to newspapers ... just read the news sites
3. Able to look up answers to bizarre questions
4. Download TV from around the world
5. Stay in contact with friends via email, skype or messenger services
6. Sell unwanted items at the online car boot sales
7. Able to avoid the relatives (unless they have email skype or messenger)

1. You could run through the street naked and no-one would notice as there is NOBODY around!!
2. You get messages from people you haven't heard from all year to wish you something you don't celebrate, but they didn't wish you something you do celebrate (Yule).
3. Nothing and I mean NOTHING is open in the town.
4. The web is eerily quiet; sites that are usually bustling only have a small handful online.
5. Strange noises are emanating from the neighbours houses.
6. Friends who are usually easy to track down are suddenly busy, absent or visiting parents.
7. Later on, there are handfuls of people trying out their new gifts in the car park (scooters, skateboards, RC toys, bikes, cameras etc).

1. Oy Boonoo
2. D'you want a fag?
3. Love you (too) babe
4. Ma!
5. Half glass of wine?
6. What are you thinking about?
7. Have you done your seven things list yet?

1. The Crop: Think how you would like the photo to look, frame it in the viewfinder, then step back/zoom out and allow a little bit more, you can always crop it back in post. Also be aware of what isn't in the photo, cropped feet and heads can be very distracting.
2. Light/Shadow: Look at how the light falls on the subject and check for unflattering or odd shadows or highlights. For general portrait work a light at 45° from the subject gives the best mix of shadow and light.
3. The Pose: A staged stiff pose can make the difference between a good photo and a cheesy one. Try to keep things as relaxed as possible and don't make your model hold the same pose for too long without taking a break.
4. Background: Unless you are setting a scene, plain backgrounds tend to work best and don't distract from the main subject of the photo. A lamp stand out of the head does not look flattering!
5. Angle: The angle you take a shot can make a big difference in perceived proportions. Taking from below can make the subject appear taller but could also give them disproportionate feet! Try to aim at the middle of the body when taking a full standing shot; also don't be afraid to rotate your camera.
6. Focus: What is and isn't in focus is very much dependant on the field of view, be aware of what is and isn't focussed especially if you have an area of the shot that you want to draw attention too, this should be your main focus. Most auto-focus systems will focus on the centre of your shot by default, adjust if necessary.
7. TMSF: Take many, show few. One of the biggest mistakes with photography is to show people everything you have taken. Take as many shots as possible but select only a few of the best shots to make public. 2 perfect shots out of 50 taken would be considered a good session.

Today is Yule and it very nearly ended up in the burns unit of the local hospital after I managed to knock a Pyrex dish of boiling oil off the kitchen counter missing my privates by about 2cm. In fact the only bit of oil that managed to hit me landed on my left foot which was well insulated by 2 pairs of socks :D
Yay, no molten penis for me this year! I did get the following 7 things though.

1. Nikon D80 Camera + Sigma 18-50mm Lens
2. Eco Kettle
3. Red Duvet Set
4. Silk Boxer Shorts
5. Cheeseboard with Mouse Cheese Wire
6. Black Trousers
7. Rose Red DVD

Today's list comes once again from Jules, cheers again :)

1. Your pizza can arrive faster than an ambulance
2. We leave our expensive cars on the driveway and lockup junk in the garage
3. 'Public' schools are only open to those that can pay
4. We order a double quaterpounder with cheese, fries and a doughnut and then order a 'diet' coke to go with it
5. We can have sex at 16, but not watch it until 18
6. Banks leave their doors open, but chain pens to the desks
7. Croutons come in air tight bags when they are just stale bread

Another submission list today, I could get used to this. Today's list comes from Bekie :)

1. Spreads small pieces of his cat litter around the flat
2. Talks almost incessantly
3. Dawdles along in front of you when you are trying to get somewhere in a hurry and performs blocking manoeuvres especially when you are carrying something heavy
4. Wakes you up by scraping his claw across your nose
5. Rustles any and all plastic bags and plastic wrapping material
6. Slides his foot under yours as you walk and then whinges at you as if it was your fault
7. Quality controls certain tasks we do; e.g. rolling cigarettes, changing the bed clothes, clearing out his litter tray

1. Philatelist
2. Angina
3. Clematis
4. Flocculation
5. Puckfist
6. Butress
7. Futtock

At this rate I'm never going to need to think of another 7 list again, not that I'm complaining :)
Today's list comes courtesy of Jay... take it away Jay.

1. Asiago - Italy
2. Serra da Estrela - Portugal
3. Ubriaco - Italy
4. Pepato - Italy (Drunken)
5. Bresse Bleu - France
6. Cabra al Vino - Spain (Drunken Goats Cheese)
7. Appenzeller - Switzerland

Today's list comes courtesy of Elephino as number 1 in the monthly 'celebrity' 7 things lists.
Take it away Elephino!

1. 7 Favourite Authors - I got to 5 authors and had writers block
2. 7 Cars I want to own - This had the problem of bringing the list down to 7
3. 7 things to do when sick - After sleep and groan, I ran out of ideas
4. 7 places I want to visit - Way, way, way more than 7 places that I want to visit and couldn't get anywhere near only 7 top destinations
5. 7 websites I can't live without - the idea is from this site but I couldn't make 7. I can live without most sites
6. 7 problems of car ownership - Seemed a bit silly when the first on the list was to be birds and trees as a bird crapped on my car and some trees left sap the same day that it had been washed
7. 7 reject list of 7 things - After being unable to come up with a useful list of 7 things, I thought of a reject list. But I only had 6 lists rejected, so the 7 rejects idea was rejected, bringing the reject list to 7. There world may implode if someone works out whether this makes sense or not...or they may just faint

1. Farting when you have trapped wind
2. Soaking in a bath
3. Peeing when you're absolutely desperate
4. Hugging
5. Getting a smile from a complete stranger
6. Waking up and knowing you have nothing to do all day
7. Satisfaction of a job well done

Today we managed to do all our Yule shopping in one hit! A bit of a weird experience because we usually buy everything on the net, but had decided to do a MK run instead. One of the things on our list to get was a pair of fashion boots, size 6 (children's) for my neice. In her teens, Bekie (my other half) used to work in Barratts, so she is quite qualified to comment on this list. So in honour of our experience in Barratts today, I present this list of bad customer service.

1. The 'Sales Assistant' took ages to find the boots after we asked her for a size 6
2. When she finally emerged, she asked us if they were for purchase - Umm, what else would they be for???
3. Whilst waiting we watched the manager, one senior member of staff and one sales assistant having a barney on the shop floor
4. After the 'Sales Assistant' took the shoes to the till, she wrote 96 on the box and then disappeared, never to be seen again
5. The manager, still having barney, complained that members of staff were standing behind the till earlier and not serving. Just like they all were at that exact moment!
6. The Manager looked like he'd been in a fight the night before and certainly shouldn't have been on the shop floor
7. Eventually when we did get served, Bekie found that one of boots was not zipped up

1. Mayfly - Brings new meaning to the phrase 'treat each day as if it were your last'
2. Male Black Widow Spider - For the obvious reason
3. Koala - Bugger of a diet
4. Male Emporer Penguin - Mustn't drop the egg, mustn't drop the egg
5. 'Lonesome George' - the last remaining Pinta Tortoise
6. Naked Mole-Rat - About as ugly as they come
7. Salmon - All that energy to get back to the spawning ground only to die shortly afterwards

1. Being woken up by the cat throwing up on the floor next to her, and that being the first thing she had to deal with
2. Deciding that she was going to make this a '7 things list' and the realisation that would mean that 6 more annoying things would have to happen (5 now)
3. Having an image of a trussed up turkey flitting in and out of her mind throughout the day
4. Being constantly reminded of NTL:Telewest due to their spam mail having not been put in the recycling yet. In fact this list was jotted on the back of it so it still isn't there yet
5. Realising that she had to roll tons of cigarettes... again
6. The cat flemensing (clem coughing up flem) across the sofa, the fleece blanket and anything else within range for the 2nd time today
7. An annoying piece of tissue stuck in the top of the lighter

Today's list come to you courtesy of Jules, one of my readers. Thanks Jules, you just saved me having to think up another one ;)

1. Room dividers for hamsters
2. Pooper scooper
3. Candle coaster, place under candle to get cool reflections
4. Shove one under a wobbly table leg
5. Grind them up to make fake snow
6. Glue loads to a black body suit to attend next fancy dress party
7. Practice throwing stars for young ninjas

1. Coffee
2. Vanilla
3. Chinese 5 Spice
4. Frying Garlic
5. Myrrh
6. Freesias
7. Nag Champa

Have had a really annoying headache most of the day, not helped by the the cat waking me up at the crack of sparrow fart, congested sinuses and deviantART crawling like a centipede at the moment.

Meh!

1. I think there's a particle accellerator in Germany.
2. You're snowing!
3. That blue alien is back in there again.
4. You tried to run your fingers through my hat.
5. I didn't want a coffee until I saw you with one.
6. You hit me in my eye with your ankh!
7. That dongle's in my slot again.

Typical! Less than 24 hours after putting up my last list, we were shopping in Waitrose when we saw 'Loyd Grossman Casarecce Pasta'. This however prompted the idea of doing a '7 things I didn't know about Loyd Grossman' list, but upon doing some research I found that there isn't 7 interesting things about him. (Number 5 was 'His middle name is Gilman' - Rivitting Stuff). So instead, here is a list of 7 of the dumbest named IT products!

1. Ogio Shling
2. Nintendo Wii
3. Burning Love Pouch
4. Tivoli Audio iYiYi Stereo System for iPod
5. DigiScent iSmell
6. Shuganano
7. iMuffs Bluetooth headphones

1. Gigantoni
2. Garganelli
3. Orecchiette
4. Reginette
5. Casarecce
6. Lanterne
7. Cencioni

Being the first '7 Things I Didn't Know Last Month' post of this blog, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the past month and give a little insight into my world.... But having just driven on a 250 mile round trip to Staffs and back and having drunk 2 glasses of wine I really can't be arsed! So... here's the list :)

1. Boiling a kettle uses as much energy as lighting a living room for an evening.
2. The meaning of the word vilified.
3. The Virginia Opossum has opposable thumbs on its back legs to grasp tree trunks.
4. The Internet Explorer 6 CSS box model is totally wrong!
5. A Spanish Omelette's proper name is 'Tortilla de Patatas'.
6. My brother wanted the exact same Yule present from us that we wanted from him (so he bought 2 and we split the postage).
7. My cat prefers rain water to Volvic!

It's been a bit of a noodling day really, spent most of it finishing off a project and putting it live which isn't always as simple as it first seems. That and the fact that one of the sales team thought it a good idea to email out a video they had come across to 60 odd people they know, clogging up the mail system and grinding the whole network to a screeching halt. Which made me think how much easier things where when you were 8 and the only thing you had to worry about was whether they were going to put a proper Scooby Doo on; or one with that annoying Scrappy creature! So, in the spirit of nostalgia I present to you the following list of TV programmes from a simpler time:

1. Mr Benn
2. Mary, Mungo and Midge
3. Battle of the Planets
4. Rhubarb and Custard
5. Hong Kong Phooey
6. Babapapa
7. Will O'the Wisp

It was so tempting to fill all 7 list items with the Fiat Multipla for this one, as it is so damn ugly it deserves a category of its own really! Anyway, on with today's list.

1. Fiat Multipla
2. Scion xB
3. Daihatsu Move
4. Nissan Micra C+C
5. Renault Avantime
6. Porsche Cayenne
7. Nissan Cube

(Click the links for shocking pictures)

1. A Wok
2. A Waste Paper Basket
3. A Stocking
4. A Cat
5. A Tea-towel
6. A DM Boot
7. One of Your Other Half's Bras

1. An overweight girl with matching mustard leggings and handbag, whilst shopping in the Lakeside Shopping Center.
2. Any picture of George Dubya Bush (except the ones of him falling off a Segway).
3. The local council switching on the Christmas lights and therefore draining several thousand watts from the grid.
4. An unfeasably long twisty cat poo which our cat kindly deposited on our spare room floor.
5. A rather worryingly large crack in our bedroom ceiling.
6. Today's weather forecast which informed us that it was going to rain heavily, forcing us to postpone a trip. Guess what, blistering sunshine, thanks Mr Bond ;)
7. 'The Ant and Dec Saturday Night Takeaway' TV show, which we were forced to watch as someone we know was on it! Utter bilge!