Another gratefully received list from Elephino this month :)

1. Battery - to give you a charge
2. Hansen's Energy - drink this and turn into a music band
3. Nuclear Waste Antidote - just the thing for when you accidentally consume nuclear waste
4. Radioactive Energy - an easy source of nuclear waste
5. Rage Liquid Energy - designed for lab monkeys
6. Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt - I assume this removes any acting talent in the consumer
7. Von Dutch - adds pinstriping on the inside

1. Grow a Mediterranean garden
2. Fill your home with flowers
3. Take a career break
4. Plan a walking weekend
5. Boost you brain
6. Discover hidden greece
7. Join Kate Adie in Libya

1. a joke for all supporters of non-euclidic geometry:
   oops. my ball toppled over.
2. birthdays are very good for you. studies show that those who have the most live the longest.
3. There was a signature here once. But it's gone now. Please, donate £2 a month for it's return. Thank you.
4. Above post may cause drowsiness, boredom, sickness, nausia, vomiting, death.
5. If you have any of these symptoms see a doctor as soon as possible.
6. If I could tell the story in words, I would have not lug around a camera.
7. I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

1. Space Hopper
2. Raleigh Chopper
3. Space Invaders
4. Pong
5. Pocketeers
6. Sodastream
7. Action Man

1. Edison (Custom built desktop/supercomputer) - Randomly powering off, suspecting processor seating (WIP)
2. Osiris (Alienware Area-51 Laptop) - Overheats at the drop of a hat
3. Voodoo (Toshiba Satellite A30)- Toshiba ergo has power issues - Online discharging (WTF)
4. Horus (Toshiba Satellite P20) - Toshiba laptop, see above.
5. Ping (Commodore Oldfart) - Works great but is rather aged and has the noisiest fan on earth
6. Satan (Advent P3) - Missing drives and memory
7. Bast (Packard Bell Whocares) - Doesn't retain BIOS settings and tends to fall over a lot

1. The reason why we didn't see red onions in the 80s is that Spain prohibited the export of them
2. The Koala is the only animal with 6 toes on each foot
3. Before become a cook, Deliah Smith trained to be a boiler engineer
4. It is illegal to grow turnips in Alabama
5. James Spader held the world record for the longest nasal hair before cutting it for charity
6. George W Bush was actually a child genius but suffered a near fatal accident at school which left his cerebelum impaired
7. Red Leicester got its name after the 1923 invasion of Leicester by the former USSR

note: None of the above is true!

1. A Magnetic Penguin
2. A Plastic Spider
3. A Rubber Scorpion
4. A Fishing Boat
5. A Rose
6. A Cuddly Baby Emperor Penguin
7. A Pile of Receipts