7 of the most common tech support issues I face

1. "I can't collect email" - Probably just as well.
2. "Have you changed my password?" - Yeah, because that's something I do for fun!
3. "Is there a problem with the email server as I haven't had much mail today?" - No, you're just unpopular!
4. "My computer keeps rebooting" - Yeah... And?
5. "My Blackberry won't collect mail" - That's because it's a small fruit!!
6. "Someone sent me a file and I can't open it" - That's because you're shit!
7. "Is the Internet down?" - No comment!